Tuesday, July 3, 2012

my mother and I

A'salam,selamat pagi, tgh,ptg,dan mlm kepada semua pembaca tak kira dimana jua anda berada, semoga hai ini lebih sihat,ceria,positif dan diberkati oleh Allah Taala dari semlm.

As usual,my sincere doa that semuanya dipermudahkan utk kita, kalau ada cabaran tu,hadapi dgn tabah,as long as its not a matter of death and life, everything will be ok.InsyAllah. Its 3/7/2012, and its 11 am Vegas time. Hari ni jv nak berceloteh pasal mother and I. Bangun pukul 5.30 a.m gi dapur tgh dapur tonggang langgang,,dah sah keja anak dara rumah ni, ada sorang kawan yg selalu dtg rumah berhari2 tak balik, dah seminggu ler juga,Bangun tidur dia org dah pegi main tennis, kalah anak org kaya, kalau bole masuk Wimbledon tak per ler juga, kalau setakat nak pukul bola tennis tu yg bergolek kebelakang tu ,pada jv tak payah ler nak eksen.Pukul 9 baru balik, 3 jam ler juga pegi pukul bola tennis,sampai jer rumah, jv leterkan dia org, 'Esah,Meena, you think you are rich kids, get up in the morning and play tennis and I am your maid cleaning your stupid mess in the kitchen?Are you blind?if you can spend 3 hrs play stupid tennis, you can not spent 10 minits to clean kichen mess?Where are your common sense?.terkebil2 mata dia org kena leter,ingat nak sambung lagi tapi ada pulak org dtg nak kutip bayaran baiki bumbung rumah sewa.I guess they are save by the bell then.After all settle down,the girls in their room,roofer have left,mualaf masuk bilik buatt keja,jv chankung sesorang kat dapur ni and I told myself "I have became exactly like my mother,for years growing up I was so determined no to be like my mother in every aspect of my life.Don get me worng though, I admire and respect my mother and loved my late father dearly,its just her way of raising me I resented,but look at me now"look at my children"I became thoughtfull,generous,hard working,a lot of common sense and cheerfull because of her, and my kid are the opposite.They are good kids, tapi semua nak kena bersuruh,sekali suruh baru nak buat, kalau tak suruh, buat dek jer.

My mother is a hardworking,smart,generous woman to who she wants to be just like her mother.she got married young, having her 1st kid at 16 or 17 maybe,then every year after that,life was hard,my father was hardly around, outstation  a lot ,balik once a month just enough to produce another baby.I look at her life as a rubber tapper,it was hard and laborius job,Each rubber tapper were given 25 acres to be tapped for 5 days.which means 5 acres a day,pukul 4 pagi kena bangun, 5 pagi kena bertolak dari rumah kayuh basikal,pasang pelita colok atas dahi sebagai lampu,sebab most of basikal dulu tak berlampu,pukul 10 pagi kena berhenti toreh, then angkat getah dari cawan, masukan dlm baldi,then masukan dlm tong,from there kena bawak pegi stop station where all tappers timbang their hasil,then bekukan and mesin buat getah keping, semua tu being supervised by one clerk and estate manager . semua penoreh berlumba nak mengimpress the manager . They call him 'Tuan" dudk bungalow di tgh2 ladang getah, tak berjiran cuma bertemankan pokok dan nyamuk. kalau sapa yg pandai bodek, dia org dapat lot yg dekat dgn jln and pokok muda,hasil nya nanti lebih banyak dari yg lain,  my mother tak pandai bodek walaupun dia cuba,she was always end up with Lot yg jauh ker hutan,kekdg jumpa babi liar,gajah,ular, dan rimau,lebih kurang mcm Zoo jer, sebab tu kechik2 dulu kita org tak heran nak pegi zoo, jenuh dah nampak binatang tu semua, sempat kenyit2 mata lagi dgn rimau jadian .Dalam kebun getah tu banyak nyamuk,suka berkerumun kat muka,made it difficult for them nak toreh pokok tu,to halau nyamuk,my mother start merokok,lelama ketagih ler dia, One of my job as a 7 year old was to gulung rokok daun for my mother,gulung ketat2 masukan tembakau and susun elok2 for her to bawak keja the next morning, Mak tahu satu bungkus daun dgn tembakau bole dapat berapa batg rokok daun, jgn cuba ngelat,nanti kena ketuk.Bila harga getah naik sikit, mak tukar pada rokok 3 lima, senang sikit jv,tak yah lagi nak menyangkung gulung rokok, org gulung tikor, jv gulung rokok.bila dah sedap hisap rokok 3 lima tu, mak dah tak pandang dah rokok daun tu, bila tak der duit nak beli rokok, tugas jv cari telor ayam dlm semak exchange dgn rokok.Sebiji telor dapat 3 btg rokok. Ingat lagi bila ayam betina berketuk jer, jv ler yg paling bahgia,melompat2 dapat telor ayam, berlari bawak gi kedai Apok(kedai kopi cina),dapat rokok and serah kat mak.

Seingat jv, mak tak pernah senyum walau apa pun yg jv buat utk mak,mungkin to her, its my job to please her.There were times ayam berhenti berkokok, jv pulak yg menangis,jv ingat lagi sampai berdoa masa bulan ramadhan, sanggup tunggu mlm lailatul qadar, berdoa supaya jv bole bertelor,sebab takut mak marah kalau tak dapt rokok,Hari2 jv ikut bontot ayam betina, sampai kekdg tu kena kejo ngn ayam jantan,gamaknya ayam tu marah tgk jv asik ikut bontot girlfen dia kot.Somehow , jv always managed to jumpa telor ayam to exchanged with rokok for my mother.Ada sekali tu, mak dah balik, sehari sunutk jv ikut bontot ayam ,ayam tu tahan tak nak bertelor, malu kot ngn jv, jv dah panik,bila tgk ayam tu dah duduk, jv tunggu,nampak jer telor tu keluar separuh dari bontot ayam tu,cepat2 jv tarik,menjerit ayam tu,jv tak toleh belakang dah to,attend to that poor chiken, terus pegi tukar ngn rokok, terchungap2 ler juga.tapi tak per ler janji tak kena pukul ngn mak.JV ada 4 adik beradik perempuan yg jarak tak sampai setahun,mcm anak tangga kita org ni,Satu atas and below were my mak's peberet,satu tukang bodek mak,satu tu just ikut jer kemana mak pegi,jv tgh2 terkulat2 tgk dari jauh.kalau mak bawak dia org pegi bandor,semua org puji berkerumun kat mak, bila mak bawak jv sekali,tak der satu org pun dtg puji,infact dia org surprised that jv anak mak,sebab dia org kata rupa jv lain dari yg lain.That was all it took for my mother to stop taking me anywhere.

Comes to think about it,I can not blame my mother, her life was hard and difficult,every compliment she gets,it help her feel good about her life,its motivates her,So why bring someone yg tak mendtgkan hasil?its just mentality of human being,then,now and forever.So kalau balik kg, I can see hanging on the wall framed pictures of all my sibllings when they were 2 years old sat on my mother's lap, except me.I once asked why my picture wasn't there,Her answer was.'ko tak lawa, tak payah mebazir filem ambik gambor,org hodoh tak payah bergamborRight then I accepted the fact I am not lawa. not good for my mother,I was gratefull my mother tak abondon me,or gave me up for adoption.Bila nak gi sekola my mother told me,'sekolah as long its free,do not bother me with anything.so I went to school with just one pencil and one excercise book,satu buku tu ler utk semua mata pelajaran, tak berani nak mintak apa2 keperluan sekolah,sebab takut kena jerit.

While my two other sister always dapat baju baru every new school year, I have to settled dgn yg buruk form my older sister, but she was so kedekut, yg buruk tu pun dia tak kasi jv pakai, kasut sekolah masa tu kasut kain, kena cuci and kapur,jv tunggu last minit baru cuci, kekdg tak sempat kering, so jv letak belakang dapur kayu,sebab tau pepagi mak bangun jerang air,jv ingat bahang api tu bole kering kan kasut tu, Mak perasan, bila dia hidupkan api tu dia saja jer tolak bara api tu sampai terbakor tumit kasut sekolah tu, For that year jv pakai kasut sekolah  hangus,pas tu tak berani dah basuh last minit. the year after that Bata introduced kasut plastic.Jv le org yg paling bahgia masa tu, sebab bole cuci last minit and kesat ngn kain bagi kering, tak yah tungu mata hari or api nak panggang kasut.Org panggang ayam, jv panggang kasut..Bila ingat balik, jv terima tu semua dgn tenang hati, tak pernah mengeluh,menangis or mengadu. I was so invisible in  my mothers eye,so much so I can do anything I want.so I thought kan? Till next celoteh frens,stay positive, please ~ Joyah Vegas.

22 comments:

  1. Kak JV, children now days once they are born they saw everything and at last they think money grows from the tree (that is what my hubby always told me about his children). Sedih baca kisah hid up akak ni, saya pun susan masa kecil tapi senang lagi kalau dibandingkan dengan kisah hidup akak.

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  2. Sebak rasanya membaca al kisah you. Redha aje JV dengan masa silam tu. Alhamdulillah...you have a good life now.

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    1. Arisa, tak der apa yg sebaknya, kalau baca betul2 seronok tu, typical budak2 punya hidup.

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    2. Arisa, jv pun bukan budak baik benor masa kechik2 dulu, asik menguji kesabaran mak yg penat balik noreh tu,I would have done the same ,kalau hidup sesusah tu, Alhamdulillah ,hidup jv tak sesusah mak jv masa dulu2

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  3. Sedih... meleleh air mata nie....

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  4. laa, buka nak suruh sedih ler, kan seronok kalau baca tu,jv tulis pun bole senyum sendiri, buka semua org bole tarik telor dari bontot ayam Lina, jv seronok masa zaman membesor dulu

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  5. saya x phm la kak..mcm mana yg membuatkan akak x rebelled langsung dulu2 yer? pd saya umor mcm tu bukan kita pandai lagi nak pujuk diri, motivate diri supaya tak kecik ati ngan sifat pilih kasih mak/adik bradik tu..

    maaf ye kak kalau sensitif. saya cuma nak menyelami lg pengalaman akak tu jer...kalau saya di tempat akak masa tu..entah2 dah lari dari rumah kot. cari batu belah batu bertangkup..telanla aku. makan la aku...huhuhu over pulaks! :P

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    1. as a kid, otak kita bersih, tak diracuni,sebab tak berkawan,buat hal sendiri,banyak keja nak buat kat rumah tu,jadi tak der masa nak fiir yg bukan2, ada tempat tinggal, tak kena champak tepi jln tu pun dah cukup bersyukur dah, mak bagi habis sekolah, tak paksa berhenti,apa lagi kita nak KakYang? bila dah tua2 akak sedor, kalau kita tak kasi setan masuk dlm otak dan hati kita, kita akan sentiasa bersyukur terhadap apa yg kita ada, to ive happy,we need to have happpy thoughts.

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  6. Salam JV, ohhh mana perenggan?
    Tapi all the best in blogging. Bila free-free tu, singgah blog saya at http://mohkembara.blogspot.com saya Halimaton Ibrahim ahli MMM jugak.

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  7. mualaikumsalam Moh Kembara, terlupa ler,almaklumler,1st time memblog,tu yg terus jadi goblok tu!!

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  8. JV, aku baca citer ko ni senapas jer tau, tersekat2 napas aku nak abis kan sebab tak ada perenggan..hahahahha

    Yang bes, aku bayangkan ayam tu lagi neran, ko dah standby tarik telornya, oh tidakkkkkkkk sungguh kejam minah ni tak sabor2 nak tunggu telor aku terpacul, patut lah ayam jantan kejor ko, tak sempat dia nak nengok zuriat, ko dah antor ke kedai, kekekkee

    Kaki skodeng:))

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  9. Hahaha...susahnya jd ayam..nak bertelor pun x tenang!!!

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  10. ayo... mak JV... x terkata pilih kasih :(

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  11. Jari Jelantik, tak ler, mak jv tak pilih kasih, seperti yg jv kata, jv pun bukam baik sgt, nakal asik menguji kesabaran mak jer, bila dah jadi mak baru jv sedor apa yg mak jv buat masa kechik tu betul.banyak kenangan baik masak membesar dulu ,tak sampai kesitu lagi.

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  12. akak JV saya pon pakai jenama kasut gotah tu - mudah dan berkesan sangat cepat embasuh nya...tapi basuh kat tepi parit beso sebelah umah udin jagong yang rumah akak munah dol - yg kat jambatan batu di Paya Redan tu - tengah cuci cuci hanyut tak sedar hahahahaha's masa tu DARJAH 5 tahun 1970 lebih hahahaha tak hinggat tahun laaa sori' ... basuh ngan kintan , pesek dan Munah situ hehehehe's !!!!

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  13. eh yer ler lupa pasal pesek, munah tu. Kintan tu your sister kan?

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  14. Hi kak JV wah you're so talented in writing eh...should done that long ago..li still remember u told us those stories...live from Delaware!!! Hahaha

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  15. One thing yg KC suka about JV is your positive thinking. Walaupun mak ibarat meminggirkan JV tapi JV tetap berusaha untuk buat mak gembira. Apa pun, bagaimanapun .. dia tetap mak, kan JV. Dia tetap ratu di hati kita. Tuhan tu maha kaya .. maha adil. Dia sayang semua hambaNya termasuklah JV.

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  16. sebak juga bab pilih rupa ni...Allah lebih mengetahui...sabar ada hikmahnya...

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