Sunday, July 22, 2012

pengalaman as Marketing excutive

A.salam ,selamat pagi,tgh,petang dan mlm to all pembaca dan peminat budiman, Semuga hari ini lebih berkat dari smlm, its my sincere doa di hari dan bulan baik kita semua berhati dan niat bersih.Its 5.36 pagi di las vegas baru lepas bersahur, we all makan cerios jer for sahur,its hard bila dah biasa tak makan pagi, nak bersahur ni, si esah and Piah yg kejut kan kita org.Masa jv sekolah menengah dulu, arwah abah selalu yg kejut kan kita org bangun pagi sahur, and I think my late father was a malay version of my mualaf, He was a kind and gentle man, tak pernah dengo arwah abah meninggikan suara,always encouraged anak2 suruh sekolah pandai2 not main2.but because he was hardly around,i wasn't motivated enough to do well.I did not take the opportunity yg parents bagi to do well in school,infact I used it as a play ground, a place to be playfull,sebab tu I never blame my parent or anybody for my failure not to do well in my SPM,bila hidup tak terkapor2 ,struggling kat KL baru realized how important is academic qualification.Its a ticket for us to get to a better place in carear, whether we want to use it or not, is another thing, but at least we have when we need it.tak semua org bernasib baik to ubah nasib mcm jv, some just don't have the personality or ability to overcome the insults and the atitude that people around us gives.One thing I notice, coming from a poverty background,poor people see poverty as a way of life,not a problem,that is why they are okay with it. If  i did not migrate from kg to a bigger city, my life would still be the same continuing another generation of poverty,because of my guts to change my future,I was able to change my two sisters future, The very least when then came to KL ubah nasib, dia org tak payah bersusah payah mcm jv lagi, the very least dia org ada tempat mengadu and tempat tinggal to start with.Every help is important walau sekechik mana pun pertolongan tu.

Bila jv dapat surat yg gaji jv akak dipotong 30rm, jadi 120 rm, jv ambik keputusan berhenti serta merta,jv tak nak stuck kat office making 120 sebulan and not able to pay expensess. By berhenti, at least jv bole fokus nak cari keja full time, without any skill, it was a long struggle to find a decent office job, By then my englis has improved tremendously.Through malay mail ad, i got the advertising 2 weeks, evethough I was ready within a day, but they won't let me,because they think they really need to prepare me. they have 4 supervisor in that department, and 5 marketing like me, the supervisor sorng jantan melayu,cakap beso,berlagak, was there because of political conection,one indian and 2 chinese,all of them got paid 1500 monthly,and the marketing ad like us got paid on commisiion,and yet we were required to clock in and out. 3 of us quit after 2 weeks, I stayed and worked my butt of calling evrybody I can think of from yellow pages,and news paper, every developer I can think of. Having worked at QS help me a bit with some leads with developer.A few big developer were frenly and helpful.UDA was very kind and helpfull ordered centrespread for 2 circulation,dapat ler 600 rm each time. Lobbied for PKNS for 4 months,the director tu juling and jongang,very frenly, pegi office almost everyday for 4 months,,very promising tapi tak juga bagi order.Satu hari tu dia suruh jv jumpa dia kat Wisma YMCA kat jalan seputih on Saturday, I was so excited sebab ingat nak sign contract,dlm hati kata "Finally"Sempat pesan lagi,sampai sana,tanya receptinist,they will tell me where to go. Satu mlm jv tak makan, sebab ingat dia nak belanja makan,by then my wieght was around 90lbs, because walked almost everyday,tak makan,almost everyday makan roti ngn air kosong,so i was so looking forward to his belanja lunch sebab dia nak jumpa lunch time.He was a Directo of Co operate Affairs at that time.. Bila sampai bangunan tu, the recepnist suruh jv naik tingkat 7, kalau tak salah, jv ingat office building, rupanya hotel kat atas YMCA tu,bila jv ketuk pintu bilik tu mamat tu berlengging tak ber baju and just pakai tuala kechik tutp pinggang dia.Tersentak ler juga sekejap , then I saw pinggan me kosong, I was so sad and dispointed and asked him? "You have eaten your lunch?toya jer mamat to jawab "yes' and I asked him back and" you want to have sex with me without buying me lunch?An I assumed you are not here to sign the contract?He said "No,the contract I will sign in my office, right now lets take care of business 1st!
I told him,"No you take care of you business, my business is to get advertisers, then I walked out of that room.

I was so sad and crying all the way home,walked from jln Seputih to Keramat, Jlan yg paling jauh jv rasa dlm hidup jv sambil nangis,I was so hungry and sad,that was the time i wish i had degree, all i want was just a a decent lunch at that time,but that does not stop me from keep on trying In 2002 I was invited by MARTRADE New York to attend sales seminar in Atlanta. Masa kat situ I saw a few high ranking PKNS officer as delegates from KL.A few of them jv kenal ,because they all selalu lepak kat office that guy, they don't remember me,but I remember them very well.So I asked about that guy.they gave me his cell phone no,I called him from Delaware.Guess what, he remember my voice,and start lecturing me about agama,pasal sembayang and the rest,I have waited so long to tell him,what i have been wanting to tell, but i was so mad of my stupidity,never have the guts till i forgot.Then I told him on the phone"No2 you do not have the rights to lecture me pasal agama,you do not have the rights to tell me anything after what you are trying to do to me without feeding me, you jerk and bastard,you can go to hell,I wish karma will get to you for being hipokirts and selfish,if only you knew your help would change my life at that time.And this jerk has the guts to claim credit,that becaouse of him, I was succesfull.MasyAllah,I was just to speechless and carut kan dia before I hang up on him. When I told a few good frens about him, they all asked me the same question.'Would I have sex with him at that time?My answer was always"I do not know because I was just so looking forward to have decent meal at that time,was hoping and praying that he belanja me makan,for me to makan puas2,when i saw a fresh empty plate in his room,my heart just stop,i was so dispointed,I thought the very least if you want to have sex with some stranger, don you think you should feed them 1st?What a jerk!! So call muslim and melayu man!

Then I call my ex boss good fren, a prominent chinese arkitek,an old guy,in his 70s I think, His name was Lim Chin Sze.Ingat lagi nama org tua tu, selalu dtg office,and very frenly. He agreed to see me at Equitorial Hotel for breakfast.Bahgia rasa dapat makan breakfast,something I have not had for years! kat hotel lagi,seronok rasa,as usual I skip roti the day before.Was there sharp at 8 am, he was there already waiting for me with his big wrinkly face,diri pun dan mengigil.I ate breakfast masa tu mcm nobody business, org tua tu perhati kan jer, but i don care. after habis makan, sedawa and kentut berkali2 ler juga, perut jv pun terkejut gamaknya sebab tak pernah di isi sebanyak tu sebelum ni,org tu a tu pegang tangan jv and told me that he has a room upstairs.Innocently I asked him,'your office upstairs?bukan ker your office kat jln ampang?He giggles and said'No laa, is hotel room!! I said Oh" why?he said " he said if you want we can lepak2 atas katil! This time I came prepared.'I told him nicely,afterall I am gratefull to him for feeding me a very good meals, let me eat whatever I want. I asked him"Are you willing to convert and marry me?He said 'No laa, I am too old already to convert and marry you, and I am already married !! what am going to tell my wife? I told him"Tell your wife you are one itchy old man want to have sex with a young malay girl, because you belanja her breakfast! Tell her the truth, I am very sure, she will be so glad to give permission,but you have to transfer 1/2 of your money and asset to me before that.Terbatuk org tua tu kat meja makan tu, nasib baik tak tercekik and mampos atas meja tu!

Then I called a Southern Finance Indian muslim, agree to see me after office hour and took me out for a movie,Laa, mcmana nak buat presentation kalau pegi tgk wayang,But ikut kan ler desprate punya pasal, masuk jer panggung wayang, mamat tu dah lain mcm jer gatal dia, yg tu jv tak tunggu lama, cepat2 jv cabut lari, tak cakap apa dah, lantak ko ler keling, pi mampos ler ko DIY kat panggung yg gelap gelita tu.Then jv jumpa  the head of PR Kumpulan perangsang Selangor,lupa namanya, very nice gentleman, jv jumpa dia, buat presentation, for 1 hour, he was so impressed with me, and recomended me a job with an advertising com. Leo Burnet Advertsisng, masa tu dia masih baru lagi, punya baik nya mamat  tu, jemput jv dari rumah and drove me to subang to meet the CEO,David Teo kalau tk salah jv nama CEO tu, He offered me a job immediately, and I asked him,the job specification. Dia kata prepare a speech for our beloved Dr Mhathir, the prime Minister! terbeliak mata binti ternganga mulut jv.For once jv rasa org ada confidance and faith in me, too much and too high, and takut jv dengo nya,politely jv tolak sebab tak nak memalukan diri sendiri and the gentlemen yg rekomen  jv.That gentlemen gave me so much confidence in me,that after that meeting I feel i can do anything, nothing will put me down anything after that.He fed me and drove me home. Felt so good of myself after that. I wish I remember his nama, it was just one meeting but that meeting change my life, in a way I can not see.My life continue to be hard and dificult after that,nothing funny and happy for a few years .OK laa, its enough for today's celoteh, nak kena jirus pokok, kemas rumah, gi kedai cina and kedai halal hari ni. till then, take care and be kind frens!!! celoteh Joyah!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

cubaan utk mencari rezeki yg lebih

'salam and morning,afternoon,evening and night to all pembaca dan peminat budiman. Its 5.30 morning here in Las Vegas,and jv and family baru lepas bersahur, biasanya terus berjaga, tak tidur dah.Its my sincere doa that all of us senantiasa sihat,ceria dan di berkati selalu di bulan ramadhan, insyAllah yer! Hari ni jv nak bercerita pasal cubaan jv masa muda untk mencari rezeki yg lebih.

Jadi receptionist, masa banyak,the admin are typical chinese yg kedekut tak nak ajor sepaya kita tahu skill selok belok office.Coming from kampung without any skills,was difficult,luckyly able to speak a word or two of english,but able to read and understand very well.One good thing when I was a maid, the employer suscribed to NST daily,that I was able to read and asked her the vocalbulary yg susah2 tu.Masa tu banyak beno masa lapang,hidup tak susah mana pun. One way I learned english at that time was reading out loud the  NST(News Straight Times)kalau ada vocab or sound yg tak tau tu jv tanya dia org.By reading out loud I was able to know and practice my english sesorng, nak comunicate dgn org masih tak terbukak mulut. But duirng my recetionist days also I always ask the steno the right way to talk in english,that at least they were willing to teach me,nothing more than that, even that I was gratefull to them.Masa baru keja , I only knew a few sentences. Good morning Hashim and Lim, who do you want to talk to? and hold on please! that was all needed to be a receptionist. senang kan? padanler dia bayo cuma 150 rm.

Bila banyak masa tu, slowly jv cuba cari keja lain, ambik MC or cuti just to go for interviews, in between cuti and MC banyak ler juga interviews jv pegi. But time were so hard back then,and with ni skills and academic qualification was very difficult for me to fina a better paying job.Then i went through yellow pages to try my luck.Still remember very weill, one of the number I called was DL for assistant producer of Santan Berlada,agaknya dia tertarik dgn suara jv masa tu he agreed to give me a part in that drama as an extra, dai bayor jv 120rm seminggu, banyak tu, lumayan rasa, the 1st thing I did dapat duit tu, beli seluat dlm,dgn bra,kat chow kit,sebab sebelum tu jv pakai sport short masa sekolah menengah yg dah reput tu,it was so uncomfortable.Then pegi waron makan puas2,with that extra 120, jv enrolled my self to take a part time class in secretary course at Bedford college kat Jalan Bandar masa tu.Never felt so mewah like that before, with that money also I was able to have breakkfast and lunch,bukan susah pun jadi extras tu,just appear as a restoran customer for sejam then dapat cash, tahan ler 4 bulan.

The Asst producer start tunjuk minat kat jv, baik mamat tu, tapi masa tu jv tak pikir pasal boyfren,but i needed the money to help me,without that life was hard for me.Dia jemput jv dgn motor srambler dia,and hanto jv balik,dapat ler sikit tgk2 tempat, tgk RTM mana rupa, kalau tak tak tau tu semua, not that jv teringin, but it was good for me, tak yah ler menunggu kat bust stop to spend time sebab no where to go.dia bawak gi makan,tgk wayang sebelum hanto balik, it was every weekend,it was a relief for a while.Then he started to get closer keep on hinted to take me to see the parents. Ingat lagi bila naik motor dia tu jv letak big folder tgh2 supaya bila dia selekoh or break agency, dada jv tak berlaga ngn badan dia.Masa tu masih innocent,As much as I wanted to hold on to the extra money,i started to feel rimas and tak elok bagi mamat tu harapan and used him,As i expected, my 120 rm weekly ended the moment I told him I am not ready to date.. There goes my extra income, nasib baik sempat saved total 1000rm. kaya benor rasa masa tu.

Of all interview jv pegi there were fews yg jv remembered the most.Kat Malaysia nak mintak keja kena jawab soalan yg bukan2, yg tak related dgn keja yg kita , kerja mak bapak,beramai adik beradik,income dia org, and kelulusan sekolah tu dah mesti. punya ler banyak jer interview yg jv pegi, tak satu pun dapat.then ada satu insurance company ni advertised on front page.Its Oriental insurance, cari receptionist, bayo gaji 400rm, banyak tu,all this while isi borang answering the truth, tak pernah dapat, I wanted the job so badly,i decided to lie in the application form about my parents occupation.Tak ingat apa jv tulis,but I know, jv tak tulis keja mak penoreh getah and abah pemandu lori. Bila the chinese interviewed me, dia tanya,apa keja mak and abah,Jv tak terpikir ler dia akan tanya soalan tu,and terlupa apa yg jv isi kat borang tu,jv kata mak typist and abah cikgu, rasanyler kot,jv tak ingat dah lama benor, what ever it was,memang jv bohong masa jawab soalan tu. The officer tu tgk borng yg ada depan mata tu and told me"but that is not what you wrote here!Jv tanya ler balik china mata sepet ,dgn cermin mata beso tu"Really? what did i write there? while my hand try to grab the form from his hand nak tgk!but china tu sempat tarik balik dari tgn jv sebelum jv sempat tgk apa yg jv tulis. Sad to say I left the place with huge disspointment.After that my life back to struggling again.

If before gaji 150 rm tu just ngam2,this time jv mengelabah sikit sebab I have enrolled for night classes,Lepas keja jv kena jln all the way to Jln Bandar and attend the class and walked back to Keramat,It was a long walk back then comes to think about it.Feeling so tired jln back and forth, i was not able to pay attention lansung apa yg cikgu ajor,typing,shorhands,marketing and office management,mata dah blur,telinga dah tersumbat,bila masuk kelas tu,tapi jv pegi juga habis kan kursus tu for one year, Sat for the test,and failed miserably,there goes my secreterial cert.Have to settle for a receptionist till when,Allah knew only.Then there was interview, required me to list down my acedemic qualification from seekolah rendah to the highest.sikit punya beso colum tu jv ingat.Dlm hati kata,'aku punya qualification 3 jer, sekola rendh and SPM,and SRP.
During interview tu mamat tu tanya jv"You masuk U?Jv kata masuk"masuk! then dia tanya 'You buat apa masuk U tu? Jv kata 'Beli air tebu! dia kata"What do you mean" jv kata masuk U masa pesta konvo,sebab boss bawak  masa tu jv keja org gaji!dia angguk kepala.Then dia kata 'mana copy of your SPM cert? JV kata"Dah buang? dia tanya balik"why buang?masa tu jv dah naik baran dah. rasa nak ku rogol jer china ni, tapi tak der nafsu masa tu, nasib baik cina tu, kalau tak kan dah jadi mangsa rogol gadis melayu masa tu.
Then jv tenong dia and told him" china,Tew Na Seng you, celakA punya cina,I wrote there SPM pangkat 3, you think I lied?you think I would framed it and carry every where? there are so many people out there with a degree,and my SPM cert pangkat 3 tu worthless, sapa mau tgk? lu gila ker? Bodoh punya cina tak cebok!! ternganga cina tu! then I walked away.

So i was back to a 150 rm job,jv cuba2 ler juga nak bodek cina2 kat office tu, sekali tu musim rambutan,jv balik kg, mak ngn abah dah petik rambutan seguni for me to bawak gi office,masa tu jv tak pernah keluar mana lagi,jv ingat rambutan KL tak berbulu, jv malu nak bawak rambutan tu pegi office sebab berbulu,jadi jv mintak tolong ngn keluarga cukur bulu rambutan tu,berjam2 ler juga gotong royong cukur bulu rambutan dgn pisau cukur tu, sampai birat hujung jari kena getah rambutan,semua tolong kecuali mak,bila jv suruh mak tolong, mak jerit kat jv"banyak chantik ko, bulu aku , aku tak cukur, nak suruh aku cukur bulu rambutan pulak?Bayang kan cukur bulu rambutan tu sampai gondol,bukan sebiji dua, seguni lagi,Esoknya jv heret ler seguni rambutan gondol tu, dari kg ke bus stop the kerumah.Next morning tak kan nak jln kaki,nak heret seguni rambutan, kena ler naik bus mini,bengkek jer the bus passenger masa tu,bila sampai office, jv buka guni tu, laa hodoh bebenor rupa rambutan yg gondol yg penat jv cukur tu,Toya jer jv offer kat cina admin tu,cina tu terperanjat tgk rambutan tu kecut semcm, and bila jv bagi tau sebabnya, cina tu cakap ngn jv"Lu gila punya org! Pas tu serik dah, tak der dah  nak bodek sesapa, and for a few years ler juga jv tak balik kg sebab tak mampu.

Then new year came, the office announced pay cut. My take home was 150, i was already almost minus at that time, and they cut another 20 rm from my pay, stuck in the office for 8 hours a day, tak leh buat apa, jv jadi gabra,tak tau apa lagi nak buat,Then jv dapat keja as a advertising executive, selling ad space for Berita Hartanh, the only property magazine published by SK Brothers at that time. No pay ,commission base only, dia
 org bagi 15% commision for every ad jv sold. Decided to berhenti keja receptionist tu and took that job. ingat senang, rupanya lagi susah hidup, if keja recept ada gaji walaupun sikit, bole ler bayor sewa,Keja ni jv kena buat marketing, collection, delivaries distribution and mcm2 lagi, kena clock in and out, and buat report.job description was to approach homeowner yg nak jual rumah suruh dia advertise dlm magazine tu. its free, jv kena ambik gambo and develop guna duit sendiri, the Company cuma bagi platform jer.Man!! I tell you that was one tough job.Seumur hidup jarang bergambor, pegang camera pun tak pernah,ni nak kena ambik gambo,bior beno sikit, tapi terdesak punya pasal jv took the job.Nasib baik ada saving 1000 rm masa tu, tu ler yg jv guna tanggung diri sementara nak dapat sales.Ingat lagi satu rumah jv guna 3 rolls of filem,tak pernah dapat ambik gambo the whole house,always, tiang ler, tingkat ler, every corner of the house jv ambik except the whole house, the 1st month tu dapat closed satu deal jer,dapat ler 30 tooks 3 moths to get the commision,by the time the homeowner agree with the artwork and everything, 3 bulan baru dapat,tu pun kalau dia org bayo,Then jv start tak bayo sewa, balik tgh mlm pamjat balcony belakang, tak berani masuk ikut pintu depan, tak nak tuan rumah tunggu, dah mcm pencuri, memang mencuri pun rasany, tapi nak buat mcm mana, hidup terdesak.4 5 bulan ler juga jv keja advertising Ex tu!.

Ok ler, cukup ler setakat ni jv berceloteh, nanti kalau tak penat jv sambung semula,till then, be safe, stay positif and be generous frens!! Celoteh Joyah Vegas

Friday, July 20, 2012

My housemates

A'salam,selamat tghhari,mlm dan pagi to all pembaca budiman,JV nak ucapkan selamat berpuasa to all muslim,semuga Ramadan kali ini lebih bermakna dari tahun2 sebelumnya.InsyAllah. Bulan puasa , jv jaeang sekali 2sahur, kalau sahurpun stakat seteguk air or sesudu dua cereal,kalau hari2 biasa pun jv tak makan pagi, cuma makan pukul 4 ptg, inikan pulak ler bula puasa nak kena makan pukul 4 to 5 pagi, tak terbuka mulut , nasib baik ler kenangkan anak2 dara yg so excited nak berpuasa, terpaksa ler bangun bersama dgn dia org, teman dia org sahur.One thing that I always remember masa kechik hidup susah dulu, segarang2 mak, she always bangun pagi kepalkan nasi , and niatkan and sembur utk kita org sahur, dgn minum seteguk air teh chap durian yg bungkus kala oren, Mak bancuh se koleh, tak bergula pun,kungsi 8 adik beradik, pas telan nasi  kepal ngn seteguk teh tawar tu then  kita org tidur. So jv ni kononya nak support anak2 bangun sahur,nasib baik dia org makan cereal ngn susu, kalau tak satu keja ler jv nak kepal nasi nak suruh dia org telan, ada yg tak puasa dia org nanti. Whatever it is, banyak kenangan manis masa jv membersar kat hutan dan zaman remaja bodoh dulu. The very least jv ada tempat berteduh walaupun bocor  sana sini. Kalau hujan,air menitik, jv tadah periuk,besen,cerek and cawan, apa saja yg bole capai kat rumah sekangkang kera tu.Masa hujan lebat le jv ambik kesempatan mandi ngn air hujan, tadah kepala kat hujung cucur atap bumbung tu, bagi basah rambut,then sapu ngn sabun cap kapak,then hulur kepala keluar,bila air hujan mencurah jatuh dari bumbung rumah , bila gosok rambut tu mcm2 ada atas kepala, daun, abuk atap,maklumler air tak bertapiskan,,jadi ler mcm shower org putih sekarang.,jv rasa tentu ada org putih nampak jv mandi masa dlm hutan dulu, sebab tu dia org invented the shower head. Kalau jv bijak masa dulu, dah lama dah jv apply patent rights,.

Hari ni jv nak sambung cerita duduk rumah mak chik tu, jv panggil dia mak ngah,kita org tak banyak bual, jv cuma dengo cerita dia jer, kekdg jv kesian kat dia kesunyian, dia terllalu sayangkan  anak perepuan dia tu, sehingga anak tu bermaharaja lela,Dia ajak jv main kutu,60 rm sebulan,for 10 people and ten months.gaji jv 150 rm sebulan, nak kata NO, tak sampai hati,tolak duit sewa dgn duit kutu, I was left with 30rm.tolak tambang bus 20rm,tinggal 10 rm.lagi ler kena ikat perut.but some how by miracle,I made it with that amount, tak pernah pinjam duit org, sebab masa tu tak kenal sapa pun.bila sampai turn jv dapat duit kutu, mak ngah kata dia nak pakai duit tu, so all 10 bulan tu jv bayor mak ngah 120 instead 60, then dia kata dia tak duit nak bayo,so jv halalkan ker.dispointed ler juga, tapi nak kata apa kan? org dah bagi tumpang rumah.Since then, jv tak main dah kutu dgn sesapa pun,buat penat jer.Mak ngah tu rasanya dia kesian ngn jv juga sebab anak dia tak layan ngn jv, so dia tolong carikan bilik sewa utk jv kat tempat lain.Yg tu jv kenang budi dia, I think dia baik hati, cuma tak berdaya nak tolong, her life was too consumed with anger and bitterness with her ex husband,so much so she can not look forward.

Then she heard my pak ngah"s another ex wife dotter looking for housemate , dia duduk kat Kg Baru, I was so happy to hear that sebab Kg Baru lagi dekat dgn pejabat, jimat 20 rm sebulan, I was thinking bole ler makan mewah sikit with that saving.Mak Ngah kata dia nak kena interview dulu.Sewa dia 50rm sebulan, rumah setinggan jer.So we went there, dia kenalkan diri and interview jv,we are suppose to be cousin,but the way she interviewed me mcm nak mintak keja pegawai. Jv jawab jer soalan yg dia tanya, dulu jv bodoh, sedor diri merempat, and so desparate nak cari tempat tinggal, so jv bior jer org tunjuk taring, kalau sekrg cuba tunjuk eksen, jv bagi sebiji.Jv ingat lagi very sweet looking, curly hair and fair skin.But i can sense kesombogan dia, during the interview. After a week ,she came back and told my mak ngah, she can not accept me as her house mate because I look weired and kg.I was not upset with her reason but more  dispointed of not able to find another place to live with my budget,so dudk ler lagi rumah mak ngah for another 6 moths kot until she found me a place not far from her house, just seberang sungai.So she help me pack, tak der apa pun, 4 helai baju kurung, seheali tuala mandi a tooth brush and a tooth paste.Ingat lagi masuk dlm grocery bag .

My 3rd place,rumah kedai, the indonesian old man and the very young wife was the owner,dudk kat ground floor, they ran a weeding rental stuff, business must be doing very well sebab dia ada mercedez,Top floor tu sepatutnya 2 bilik,tapi dia buat partition jadikan 3 bilik,Dia sediakan double decker katil besi, satu katil sewa 60 rm, no tilam, no bantal.just a partiton no doors,ada ler langsir buruk,and no fan.My mak ngah tak offer bantal or blanket pun,never bother to ask, walaupun dia tau jv tak der duit,duit kutu yg patut dapat 600 tu pun dai tak sebut apa pun.Throughout this journey, I never feel sedih,stress or takut, tak rasa apa pun.Maybe jv never expect anything from anybody,masa kechik tak expect adik beradik tolong bila kena pukul,bila merantau pun jv tak terpikir pun akan ada org tolong.the other two bilik lengkap dgn tilam ,bantal,and kipas, consider fully furnished, ada 8 org yg keja dgn UTM.Masa tu UTM masih kat jalan gurney, most of them gaji 800 sebulan, gaji jv 150.but i was the only one yg bole cakap roomate tu ada 2 org keja kilang, they made the same amount with overtime.all of them ada 4 bantal and one bantal peluk,there i was tidur atas tilam besi, with my baju kurung yg bawak dari kg as my bantal.No even one of them offer me their bantal.Bear in mind these are perempuan melayu yg pakai tudung, alim sembayang tak tinggal,lepas balik keja dia org ambik upah jahit baju, almost all of them, I just watch.and they just watch  me tidur atas katil besi no kipas,no tilam and no bantal, Few times,panas sgt,so stuffy, nak buka tingkap,nyamuk masuk, nak rasa sejuk, jv tidur berdiri peluk tiang katil besi tu,bila pagi bangun, leher kejang, ambik masa 30 minit ler juga nak pusing tengkuk pelahan2 tu.

There were 12 of us in that house, 9 dapur minyak tanah,8 of them brg semua masuk dlm bilik, my roomae yg keja kilang tu tak der dapur, dia org tak masak, cuma ada almari plastik dia org mangga siap,jv tak mapu nak beli apa2 kecuali dapur and minya tanah, sekali beli, penuhkan mangkuk dapur tu, the next day nak masak minya tanah tu dah kering, tak tau sapa, sebab dapur tu kat luar ,some of them jv tgk jarang beli minyak tanah, tapi makanan mcm ada dlm bilik, lepas masak dia org bawak masuk bilik and makan sesama dia org.One of the lady beli tv, sapa nak tgk kena byo 30 sen sehari, banyak tu for me, tak mampu jv, kekadg kalau jv nak pegi bilik air, her tv tgh on, jv jeling tgk nak tegur dia, dia terus tutup tv tu, and said tv hanya utk org yg bayo sewa, tak bayo sewa tak bole tgk.So jv acknowled jer ler, nak kata apa, dah tak mampu,buat ler tak mampukan.

There were times jv  lambat bayo sewa, jv kena balik pukul 1 pagi, takut terserempak dgn tuan rumah,lepas keja lepak ler kat bus stop,dudk atas bench tu, tunggu lepas magrib,isyak and tgh mlm,tgk bas dtg dan pergi, kekadg, cium bau durian, dari awal musim sampai ler habis musim, for a few years ler juga jv tak rasa makan bila musim buah, Seingat jv sekali jer yg jv mintak duit dgn abah 100 rm, masa baru2 sampai, sebab mak chik tu guna duit jv.Klau jv beli ubat gigi , tak sampai seminggu, kesep terus ubat gigi tu, jv rasa some of them nak jimat minyak dapur dia org,dia org masak guna dapur jv, berus gigi guna my toothpaste,mandi guna sabun mandi jv, and my syampo.tapi jv tak pernah tanya,jv asume and halal jer,

Kalau bulan puasa, mcm2 dia org masak, jv tgk jer telan air liur, bila dapur habis minya memanjang, jv stop cooking and mula balik makan roti, rumah tu tak jauh dari masjid keramat, every ramadan dia org berterawih, jv tak pernah pegi, lepas buka dgn roti ngn air tawar , tu jv terus tidur atas katil besi.At that time jv rasa hidup terlalu susah,sebab tidur atas katil besi yg tak bertlam tu sakit badan, nak tidur atas simen, sakit kepala, lelam I get use to it, tidur atas katil besi,So the whole ramdan biasan jv tak sahur, buka sebuku roti ngn air tawar. I do not know whether my puasa tu diterima ker tidak, jv tawakal jer ler.towards the end tu puasa was getting harder and harder for me,by the 20th day tu, badan dah rasa melayang semcm, mata pun dah kabur,sebab tak der protin dan zat dlm badan.Dah cukup ler celloteh hari pertama Ramadan ni.Stay good and generous frens, please. take care yer!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Nak Makan Tapi Nak Kurus?

Nak kuruih tapi nak jugak makan kari nasi kandaq? Meh ler tengok video teman nie...


3 shallots - finely chopped
2 cups of Far-Free Low Sodium chicken broth (1 cup of broth has 15 calories only)
2 tablespoon of garlic powder (sodium free)
1 tablespoon of pepper
1 tablespoon of parsley flakes
2 tablespoon of paprika or chili powder
1/2 tablespoon of ground ginger
3/4 cup of Malaysian curry powder (my favourite is ADABI curry powder)
3 tablespoon of Low-Fat cream or coconut milk (1 tablespoon has 30 calories)
4 average size Chicken breasts which has about 360 calories (Use white meat if you are on a losing weight program because dark meat like thigh and drumstick has more fat in it. An average size of uncooked chicken breast is 3 oz. and has about 90 calories)
Sea salt to taste

Zaman Remaja

A'salam to semua pembaca budiman, semuga hari ini lebih ceria, sihat dan diberkati dari semlm, its my sincere doa that semua yg baca blog jv berhati dan berfikiran bersih, jgn sesekali ada perasaan dengki,benci dan kedekut dlm hati kita, Kita kena senantiasa ingat bahawa semua manusia sama,yg membezakan kita ialah cara kita melayan org lain,angkuh dan bongkak tu lah yg akan menjatuh kan kita nanti. Lusa mulim di amerika akan menyambut Ramadhan, its summer ,waktu imsak will be around 5 pagi and berbuka its going to be 9 pm the very least kalau ikut matahari kat vegas ni,InsyAllah, jv dan keluarga akan berpuasa seperti muslim yg lain.

1977,umur jv 13 tahun ,kedudukan ekonomy keluarga dah ok sikit, tak ler sedaif tahun2 sebelumnya,sebab harga getah dah naik sikit and hujan tak se akrab mana, less hujan more days to noreh, more days to noreh more gaji mak dapat, and abah dah mula bagi mak 50rm setiap bulan , so bila hidup tak sedaif mana, mak tak ler asik nak marah jer bila nampak jv, by then jv pun dah tak berapa hidup dlm ketakutan lagi, abang pun dah selalu ikut abah bawak lori,tapi kemudahan api air masih tak der lagi, but at least mampu had dinner every night.and pagi mampu bawak bekal gi sekolah.And mak mampu beli radio utk my 2nd sister, ingat lagi warna pink, pink was the color at that time I think, very light pink, everything seems to come in pink, from the tea set to a tu melekat kat telinga my sister  almost24 hrs rasanya, sebab jakun masa tu, tak pernah dapat brg kan?, naik pekak teling jv masa tu, jv naik fed up masa tu, bila kakak tu pegi noreh sekali tu dia tertinggal radio pink 4 segi dia tu, jv korek bateri radio tu jv buang, and tutup balik. Kita org dulu kalau dapat brg baru bukan baca direction,tokey tu tolong carikan station radio tu, sampai ler mati radio tu, tak berani usik takut rosak, punya jakunnya org dulu.Bila balik noreh the 1st thing my sister did, terkam radio pink dia tu, mcm hisap dadah, if my mother kaki hisap rokok, my sister kaki dengo radio,at least my mothers habit tak memekak, radio ni memekak jer.Berjam2 ler juga my sister tu gocang radio tu bagi bunyi,jv tgk jer dari jauh,tiap2 hari dia goncang radio tu bagi bunyi semula, kekadg tu jv bole tgk dari anak mata jv tgn dia lenguh, aman sikit rumah tu bila tak der radio tu, lepas seminggu, mak bawak gi kedai radio tu balik suruh chek apa rosak, cina tu pun sama bodoh agaknya, manual tu dah di buang, habis wayar radio tu di tarik2 nak cari apa salah, tak pulak dia bukak kotak bateri tu,berjam nunggu kat kedai radio tu, in the end,dia kata dia nakhanto ke muar, tanya technician ,jv tgk jer,tak kata apa pun.After a week, dia hanto balik ke rumah, dia kata tak bole baiki sebab my sister over used the radio,bila dia hanto balik dah tak rupa radio dah,tapi kotak bateri tu masih elok,tak der tanda2 mother dah mengamuk,suruh ganti balik, cina tu refused ,sebelum dia melangkah keluar baru dia teringat nak chek bateri tu, bila jv dengo tu jv terus terjun tingkap, tak nampak dunia dah jv lari nak selamatkan diri, habis muka lebam rempuh btg pokok.Nasib baik abang tak der masa tu,mak tak pulak kejo, jv terchungap lari sesorng mcm kena kejo hantu, bila agak dah jauh, jv berhenti penat, tiba2 kayu api jatuh kat atas kepala jv, rupa2nya mak jv tunggu jer ,tgk berapa jauh jv bole lari,bila jv berhnti dia baling ngn kayu, benjo ler juga kepala jv masa tu kena baling, berpinar2 ler juga.

Then umur 14 tahun, jv dah baligh, dah mula syok dgn boys kat sekolah,mcm2 cara jv buat nak get boys attention, tapi malu.Comes to think about it, memang malu, tapi jv tak pernah cerita dgn org except bila dah tua and berkawin, baru perasaan betapa bodoh nya masa zaman remaja dulu, pantang lepa dengo petua jv ikut sebiji2.Ingat lagi the 1 st thing jv buat masak masin, sebab org tua2 selalu kata kalau masak masin nak kawin, suka jv dengonya. So bila masa semua jv letak garam, jerang air pun jv letak garam, garam jantan lagi, ketulan garam yg besor ibu jari tu,nasib baik tak mampus kena darah tinggi kan? Bila mak minum dia punya teh susu, ,masin,dia kata"kenapa masin teh ni?,jv buat dek jer.Mak ok lagi, then jv masak nasi,bila mak makan dia perasan sebab semuanya masin,dari air ker nasi dan lauk pauk,1st time mak kata"ko ni masak semua masin, ko nak kawin ker?'jv tersengih2,mcm kambing,dlm hati seronok sebab mak dah tau jv nak kawin,masa tu jv 15 tahun kot,hoping kot2 mak bole risik, match making ker, ngn sapa jv tak tau, yg jv tau masa tu jv seronok sebab mak dapat my message, jv nak kawin,! Hari bertukar minggu bertukar bulan,jv tunggu mak merisik, tak der juga, every day jv increase the garam punya volume dlm masakan jv, almost a year kot, sampai last sekali tu bole nampak garam dlm nasi tu jv letak punya banyak nya sampai pahit jadi nya'agaknya last sekali mak tak bole tahan cukup setahun mak jerit kat jv"ko ni nak bunuh aku ker? masak masin bebenor ni?kena kejo jv dgn penyapu, cabut lari terjun tingkap,pas tu tak masin dah jv masak, tgk garam pun jv takut.Dulu jv suka terjun tingkap, sebab mak  suka duduk tepi tangga, kalau lari ikut pintu  depan mak, tak sempat lari jauh kena tangkap, kalau ikut tingkap,susah sikit mak nak tangkap.kekadng jv lari,nak escape dari mak, jv panjat pokok, apa pokok depan mata,tak pikir pjg ,jv panjat, sekali tu terlalu panic jv panjat pokok betik,mak goyang pokok betik tu sampai tumbang, ngn jv sekali tumbang sama,lebam ler juga peha kena libas dgn kayu api.bila dah tau pokok betik tak selamat, jv panjat pokok kelapa, , mak dapat galah,mak jolok jv, org guna galah jolok buah, mak jv guna galah jolok jv,yg tu jatuh sakit betul, dengkot ler sekejap,bila dah habis pokok jv experiment, jv lari bawah rumah, lagi senang mak jolok,then jv panjat bunbumg rumah,yg tu pun kena jolok,yg tu lagi senang sebab atap rumbia,, nakal betul jv dulu menguji kesabaran mak, kesian mak, dah ler keja penat, dapat anak mcm jv lagi kan?

Then, jv dengo mak cerita dgn my eldest sister, dia kata kalau kita nak org lelaki mimpi kita, sebelum tidur tu selawat,seru nama org tu then ketuk bantal 3 kali.,senyap2 jv buat,jv lebih kan lagi, buak aje selawat, habis semua ayat yg jv ingat jv baca,seru nama mamat yg jv syok tu sepul kali, kononya nak bagi mamat tu kow1 mimpi kan jv,jv ketuk bantal tu punya kuat nya sampai pecah bantal tupas tidur senyum sendiri sebab puas hati, happy fikir mamat tu gerenti akan mimpi kan jv.Esok pagi masa kat sekolah, tunggu juga kot2 mamat tu senyum kat jv, hampeh,mamatu perasaan pun tidak ngn jv,years later jv baru terpikir, how to know petua tu menjadi ker tidak,Dare to ask him> I don think so!

Then I did the most stupid thing ever,org kampung dulu suka pakai minyak atar tu,minyak org arab yg bau terlebih kuat yg bole tikam otak, jv nak cari minyak yg bole tikam kalbu, tak jumpa,minyak atar pun minyak atar ler,Jv perasaan mak jv letak sikit jer minyak tu bawak ketiak dia,less than setitik kot,jv pegi curah bawah ketiak jv,mak ooi,sampai migrain jv bau minyak atar tu, bau minyak goreng ikan pekasam bila dah banyak, bila sampai sekolah jv panic, sehari suntuk jv nyorok dlm toilet ponteng semua kelas,pas tu jv tobat terus, lantak pi ler, tak der jv nak cuba menggatal cari pak wer, sampai ler jv habis SPM.

Having done all the unthinkable things when I was teenagers, I can not blame my mother for having no patience with me,adik beradik lain tak mischieves mcm jv, semua ikut kata mak, kalau balik kg you all can tell that jv ler yg paling palyfull dan nakal,and and jv make sure my anak tak buat apa yg jv buat masa kechik dan remaja dulu.Satu yg jv tgk org dulu didk anak, at least my parents, mak tak bagi tau the dos and dons, jv kena guna otak sendiri,yg jv tau kalau jv buat salah jv kena pukul, even then mak tak bagi tau apa salah jv, kekadag jv terpinga2 tak tau kenapa jv kena pukul.I am not saying I am a better mother than my mother, but at least I know what not to do .. Kalau ada org or sibling mengadu pasal jv,tak selidik or tanya, mak pukul dulu,more often apa yg org kata tu betul,sebab every mother ada that mother's instinct kan?.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Bermulanya hidup berdikari

A'salam semua, to all my peminat if any, or pembaca2 yg budiman,Semuga hari ini lebih sihat,bahgia,dan lebih di berkati dari hari2 sebelumnya, it is my sincere doa to all of us semuga semuanya di permudahkan oleh Nya. Jv tgh sibuk bebenor skrg, sebab ada 3 foreign student kat rumah ni,and in between masa,kemas rumah and managing bisness yg seciput , and fb, kekdg nak menulis tak der hari ni jv ambik kesempitan nak tulis apa yg teringat sebelum sibuk semula utk esok.

My  1st job kat KL was receptionist di kedai video kat Ampang Hilir, masa interview tu jv kenal kerani kat kedai tu ,org Sarawak.The father was taxi dreber, bini dia tukang masak kat Yayasan Sabah, and 2 anak perempuan,one single mother kawin dgn drug addict and one baru 17 tahun. masa jv kenal tu dia org duduk kat rumah setinggan jln Ampang where Ampang point is now,sempat ler jv duduk dgn dia org kat rumah setinggan tu till they were moved to Ampang Putra. Masa keja org gaji tu , jv simpan 100 rm monthly for 3 years , dtg KL ada ler saving for 3K masa tu.Tak tau mcm mana nak buka bank account jv suruh mak chik tu simpan duit jv, jv bayo dia 60rm sebulan,tumpang bilik dgn anak dia.1st few weeks tu jv keja naik bas, then on the 2nd month , mak chik tu cakap dia terguna duit jv, cuma bole bagi 800 rm jer,Was upset, tapi nak buat mcmana, jv rasa terhutang budi juga dgn dia org sebab kasi tinggal dgn jv,so jv pun tak ler push sgt pasal the balance tu, jv tak ingat dia pulang ker tidak.Anyway, with 800 jer yg tinggal, keja kedai video tu the 1st 2 months toke tu tak nak bayo, realizing duit dah tinggal sikit, jv mula jln kaki, gi keja pakai selipor jepun,bawak duit seringgit utk tambang bas pegi balik,jalan kaki separuh jln, Dari Ampang putra, bertolak pukul 4 pagi jln and sampai Risda building pukul 8 pagi,then naik bas ke ampang hilir, 1st day,tambang bas jv masuk dlm baju dlm, yg beli kat pasor mlm di kg masa zaman sekolah dulu, semuanya dah tak mencerut lagi, tak nak tali baju dlm tu asik terlondeh jer, jv buat simpulan kat tgh tali bra tu.agaknya jln laju sgt menhayun tgn tak perasaan duit tambang bas yg jv masuk dlm bra buruk jv tu hilang you,! jv letak coins,habis  agaknya bertabur sepanjang jln ampang tu, rezeki ler sapa yg jumpa masa tu.So bila conductor tu mula jerit nak duit tambang, jv raba2 duit tu tak der, panic bukan main lagi,so jv lompat jer dari bus mini tu bila dia slow down,nasib baik masa tu jv suka berdiri kat tangga bas mini tu, senang ler nak lompat lari,nasib ler tak tersungkur,kalau tersungkur tak dapat ler jv nak bercerita yer.. 3 bulan kot jv keja kedai video tu tak bergaji.

That was 1984,recession was so bad, Mahathir baru jadi PM, fresh graduates joined goverment program gaji 400 rm jer,so jv join agency nak cari keja tempat lain,signed contract bayo 1st month salary to the agency,2nd week dapat keja receptionist dgn QS firm,di Jalan Lumut. Duduk di Ampang Putra,Gaji dapat 150 sebulan.congak2, jv tau gaji tak cukup utk naik dua bus,so kena continue jln kaki sampai bus stand Klang.,Kalau dulu jln sampai bgn Risda, kali ni jv jln sampai Klang Bustand.kekdg, kalau dah tak langsung duit tambang jv jln dari ampang putra tu sampai jln lumut.Masa tu muda kan, tak rasa penat tak rasa apa,for many2 months jv puasa, tak makan apa2 kecuali roti gula dng majerin yg 15 sen tu, jv makan pukul 3 ptg cicah dgn air paip,kalau kat office dapat kopi free,selamat sikit,bila jln balik sepjg chow kit tu dapat bau makanan pun rasa dah cukup,along the way jv nampak peminta sedekah makan nasi ayam, rasanya masa tu nak duduk jer sebelah mak chik tu join mintak sedekah, tapi tak der pulak mangkuk masa tu, there were times jv teringin sgt nak makan nasi berlauk, jv pegi warung yg self serive tu, jv letak lemak2 daging tu bawah nasi,cover cukup2 then jirus kuah atasnya, tunjuk ngn cashier tu dari jauh jer, takut dia nampak lemak daging bawah nasi tu, biasanya dgn air kosong dapat ler seringgit, kira mewah tu, tak mampu nak spent banyak tu selalu, 5 hari seminggu jv makan roti majerin dgn air kosong, that one was 15 sen.I know its dosa,consider mencuri and tak halal,but hey, masa kebulur tu tak pikir pasal curi or dosa,

Bila dah tak larat nak jln sejauh tu, jv start mencari pasal my uncle yg jv pernah dengo dari sedara mara, jv found my uncle ex wife,duduk di Keramat ,Finally dapat alamt dia and jv mintak tolong tumpang rumah .She agreed to help,At least dari keramat ke jln lumut tak jauh sgt,jln tak der ler berjam2 bole ler jv jimat seringgit sehari. Makchik tu ada anak sorang dah kawin,eksen nak mampos,jv tau dia tak suka jv menumpang rumah dia, my mak chik kasi jv sewa living room dia 60 rm sebulan, dia kasi satu bantal dgn shelai gebor,kena tidur pukul 12 mlm,and bangun pukul 5 pagi,I was so desparate at that time, jv terima jer.My makchik was a very bitter woman, marah dia to my unlce tak habis walaupun dah bercerai berbelas tahun,everyday jv kena tahan teling dia cerita ngutuk all my uncle wives.My uncle suka kutip bini,org kutip antiques or habuk, dia kutip bini,I can not say anything2 takut kena halau ,so dengo jer ler dia kutuk my uncle and all his wives.Her dotter is very arrogant bitch,I have never met anyone that arrogant,bukan lawa or berjaya mana pon, keja kilang texas instrument jer.but i guess she made more money than me at that time.Nak kat apa kan?

If people say,beggars can't be choosy,I was that true definition,1st time in my life I know what stress was,for unknown reason her dotter just hated me,every time dia terserempak dlm rumah tu she would rolled her eyes on me and pusing balik,entered her room and hempas pintu,  tak kopak pulak pintu tu, rumah dia org tu rumah setinggan jer,kuat betul pintu tu.I have to wait pukul 10 mlm, baru balik rumah, keja habis pukul 5 ptg, so jv dudk ler bus stop 4 to 5 jam every day, kalau weekends lagi teruk,keluar pukul 7 pagi dudk kat bus stop tu sampai le mlm, nak jln2 tempat lain tak der duit, mintak keja kat warung tak dapat, nak tolong free pun dia org tak bagi, nak duduk situ, takut tergoda ngn bau makanan pulak, kekdg sampai tertidur jv kat bus stop pasar keramat tu,selalu tersentak kalau bus mini tekan hon,most bus mini drebar and conductor kenal benor jv masa tu.JV tau the warong owner masa tu selalu ejek and made fun of me, jv ketawa jer .nak buat apa,sebab betul apa yg dia org ejek tu.Most nights bila jv balik rumah mak chik tu tgh mlm jv selongkar dlm tong sampah dia,makanan yg dia nak buang tu jv kutip makan, yg dah bercendawan tu, jv buang yg atas2 tu,jv makan, tak baca bismillah pun masa tu.Manusia kan? tahan makanan basi and buang dlm tong sampah, dari bagi kat org,sekali tu,jv leka mengali tong sampah tgh mlm tak perasan the dotter  berdiri cekak pinggang perhati,apa yg jv buat,dia nak bangun kenching, tong sampah tu dia letak kat tepi toilet,dia terkejut and told her mother yg jv gila.I never hated or despise anybody in my life,except for a few, she was one of them,I do not wish anything bad, but I am sure hoping for bad karma for her,at least for a very long time in my journey to improve my life..Cukup ler setakat ni celoteh jv yer, nanti bila senang jv sambung lagi. Remember frens, always nice to people,always be generous when comes to makanan.Stay positif OK?

Thursday, July 5, 2012

my siblings and I

A'salam, selamat ptg,mlm,tgh hari and pagi to semua pembaca tak kira di mana jua anda berada.Semuga hari ini lebih ceria,sihat and diberkati dari semlm, if not teruskan doa dan usaha,dlm islam kata doa tu bole mengubah takdir.Only God knows kan?

Piah ngn Esah baru balik dari rumah kawan, and Piah takut2 nak mintak kebenaran ikut kawan baik dia pegi Celebrities Hunting kat LA.Esah don realy care much,lebih suka duduk rumah berfb,JV kasi pegi sebab dia pegi dgn kawan baik jv, minah Iran,Iranian yg dtg sini masa the 70s and 80 kaya raya ,agaknya bawak lari harta masa zaman Shah Iran dulu kot.Piah tu baru 13 tahun, dah suka sgt benda2 mcm ni, masa jv umur 13 dulu radio pun tak der.Bila dengo nama Sharifah Aini tu mcm pelik benor,sebab nama kg kan dulu,Senah,Bedah,Piah, Peah,Esah, so nama penyanyi tu bila dengo nak sebut pun pelat.

Jv ada 12 adik beradik,2 mati masa kechik,satu mati umur 5 tahun,satu lagi mati umur 7 tahun,yg 5 and 7 tu mati keran demam panas,zaman dulu org kg tak pernah pegi hospital,rumah kechik kalau sorang sakit,semua akan sakit,Seingat jv 1973 tu semua adik beradik rebah kena demam champak, one by one survived but the other 2 tak selamat,I think they died the same year kalau tak salah.Sorang abang the rest semua perempuan,jv anak kelima.the eldest and second and 4 are kakak,never ingat jarak umur between sibling, the 3rd my spoiled brat useless brother. I hated him for so long,i hardly acknowledge him as my brother,he was my mother 4th sister,is my mothers reporter my 2 older sister just mind their own business,whenever they feel like beating me, they just did.

70s zaman melayu mabuk tgh filem hindusetan,termasuk ler my 2 sisters and my mother,Satuday evening dia org pegi pekan  tgk wayang hindusetan,All of them illeterate,buta hurup, Bila balik mak bawak sebungkus mee bandung for our dinner,dah bonyok semcm, but tu dah seronok dah, while eating ramai2sebungkus mee bandung bonyok tu, my mak would tell us in detail pasal wayang yg dia tgk, siap dgn dialog lagi,mcm real jer.Seronok jv dengo, masa tu ler terasa yg mak benornya sayang kat jv.Arwah abah balik sebulan sekali, bila dia balik tu, dia bagi kita org 10sen, jv simpan dlm tin susu paku kat tiang,sama ler with my other 2 sister, so kat rumah 4 tiang tu masa ,bole nampak 3 tin susu terpaku di 3 tiang,jv punya tgh2,Setauh ler juga jv simpan dapaler 1.20sen.Satu hari tu jv balik sekolah seronok nak kira duit nak beli buku sekolah,bila balik tgk tabung jv dah kena kopak,hampa yg teramat,terdudk sekejap menagis, tanya kak long sapa ambik duit jv, kak long kat mak,sebab nak tgk wayang,Nak kata apa, kesat air mata jer ler,since then jv tak menabung dah, everytime abah bagi duit tujv bagi terus kat mak,habis cerita, tak rasa hampa.Pernah sekali tu
sekolah ada exam, kak Long nak tgk wayang hindusetan,paksa jv cuti sekolah, jaga adik2, jv tak mau , kak long ambik tali plastik ikat jv kat tiang,, bodoh punya kakak,masa dia ikat tu ,bukan jv bole pun jaga adik2,Penangan wanyang hindusetan, sebab tu jv panggil hindusetan,benci  benor masa tu setiap kali new filem keluar. A few years after that abah bawak kita org pegi tgk wayang hindusetan tu, then jv perasan pelakon tu semua bukan cakap melayu, and mak jv tak tau baca, masa mak bercerita tu mcm dia paham bebenor jer,so bila balik tu jv tanya,'Mak,mcmana mak tau apa pelakon2 tu semua cakap? Mak kata"mak agak jer" laa,pas tu jv tak excited dah nak dengo mak balik cerita pasal wayang yg dia tgk tu.

Then my only brother,my mother's hope to carry her legacy, what legacy at that time pun jv tak tau,my mother didik dia mcm tatang minyak yg penuh, apa saja yg dia nak dapat, kalau makan tak cukup, jv kena bagi my portion bagi dia,kalau dia tak habis makan , tahan dia buang bagi ayam, while jv terkebil2 tak dapt makan, jv  kena hidang makanan dia, mcm jv hidang utk mak, kalau tidak kena pukul, kalau tak  dgn dia, dgn mak,,Kalau mak nak pukul jv lari , abang yg sekor ni tolong kejo and tangkap dan serah kat mak,almost pengsan jv kena bantai ngn mak,dia mcm mak punya body guard, mak menaruh harapan yg tinggi kat anak jantan sekor tu.Ada satu peristiwa yg jv tak kan lupa sampai jv mati kot, masa tu jv umur 10 tahun, jv masak pengat labu for dinner,dah lewat nak gi ngaji, so jv siapkan dlm mangkuk, tak sempat letak sudu ,then jv off pegi ngaji,ngaji masa tu mlm hari,jv lilit badan jv dgn gebor guni masa tu, sebab tak der kain sarong,baru turn jv nak mengaji, came my brother heret my lengan bawak balik, dia heret jv sepjg jln hutan tu,and pukul jv sampai tangan jv patah, while my mother just sat there and watch with all other siblings, he was so powerfull at that time and my mother just simply allowed him to do whatever he wants,its all because jv tak sempat nak letak sudu dlm mangkuk pengat dia,Mak masa tu suka simpan 3 rotan semambu yg dibelit jadi satu, sampai hancur ler juga rotan tu. Form my mother to my sister,just sat there and watch while I got beaten,I think sebulan ler juga jv tak bole guna tgh kiri jv, kalau tak patah, terkehel.yg ni everytime jv ingat or cerita, jv nangis,when you were kid,there is nothing much you can do to protect yourself,you rely on your siblings or nebor, if non of them not able to help you, what you have is only wish that nothing bad will hapen to you..I guess tu jer yg jv bole buat each time jv kena pukul dgn abang and mak.Wish!!

Then my 4th sister, tak cakap banyak, but one of my mothers peberet.She just watch me and report everything to my mother.then my younger sister,my mother peberet of all.Dia lembab sikit dari jv, takut nak gi sekolah, selalu cikgu pukul dia, jv ingat lagi telinga dia sampai berlubang kena cubit dgn Miss Wong, english teacher sebab dia tak bole jawab soalan, Mak sanggup dukung dia , dudk tunggu dia habis sekolah, punya sanyang nya mak kat adik jv tu. jv benci and jeles sgt,sekolah agama satu kelas, bila exam, jv kasi dia tiru semua,then dia dapat no 1 dlm kelas jv dapat no 3.Marah ler jv, betul2 tak adil kan?kalau tak kasi tiru, dia terkebil2 tgk jv,akhirnya jv mengalah.Jv selalu hasut dia buat mcm2 dia ikut jer,tapi dia ni pandai bisness,jv dulu tak pandai, jv nak cari makan jer, sebab tak dapt makan cukup kat rumah.kalau nak curi rambutan jiran, jv ajak dia,jv nak makan setangkai dua jer, dia siap bawak guni, siap jual lagi hasil curi tu.Jv ada team masa nak curi rambutan jiran masa dulu. kita org duduk belakang dusun pak Talib, jiran depan rumah, kedekut nak mampos,tahan rambutan habis makan musang, bukan nak bagi kita org.Satu hari tu,jv ajak my second sister,adik and jv gi curi rambutan,adik jv bawak guni, kakak bawak parang,and jv pegi berlenggang,Bila sampai kat dusun tu,  tugas jv to identify pokok yg mana nak curi,jv tunggu bawah while adik ngn kakak panjat and petik rambutan.Kakak jv panjat pokok tu dia tetak terus dahan rambutan tu, terkejut jv tgk,tak der ler plan mcm tu,yg lagi sedap tu dia dudk hujung dahan,then tetak pangkal dahan tu, Terngaga jv tgk dgn dia2 sekali jatuh ketanah,bersama dgn dahan rambutan tu.Then kakak tu heret ler dahan rambutan tu kerumah, sempat ler lalu depan rumah pak talib tu,siap angakt tgn lagi dgn pak talib tu,sepjg perjlanan, my adik petik rambutan tu masuk guni,jv petik masuk mulut, sampai rumah kakak jv dapat sebutir dua jer, badan dah calar2 sebab jatuh dari pokok rambutan tu,Bila jv ajak the 2nd time dia tak nak ikut, dia kata tak berbaloi,dng dosa and badan calar2 cuma dapat makan sebiji adik dapat dua guni and tak share dgn kakak,sebab dia nak jual hasil curi tu.jv dah kebotong perut penuh ngn rambutan curi dlm perut,mlm tu tidur senyum lebor sebab perut kebotong.Esok pagi hilang suara,sebab makan rambutan banyak sgt.Kakak kata dolat sebab makan rambutan curi. Tuhan balas.Bila ingat2 kan jv ketawa sesorang,infact asa tulis ni pun jv senyum sendiri.

Dulu mlm Jumaat takder kelas mengaji, masa tu kat kampung dah ada letirk,ada rumah jira sorang ni ada tv,masa tu tgh hot cerita 6 milliondolar man.mabuk habis ngn cerita tu.Bila mlm, tunggu adik beradik dah tidur, jv dgn adik jv yg lembab tu keluar ikut pintu belakang rumah merangkak lari rumah jiran tu nak tgk tv, bukan dapat masuk rumah pun, dapt tgh dari celah lubang papan,yg muat sebelah mata,took turn ngn adik tu tv sebelah mata celah lubang, sanggup, tak kira hujan ribut or petir, kalau hujan ribut, basah seluruh badan belakang sebab menonggeng tgk tv celah lubang.kakak yg jadi reporter tu,bila dapat tau, dia bagi tau mak,bila mak tau,dia kunchi pintu belakang,then kita org keluar dari tingkap,then mak palang tingkap ngn kayu, kita org tebuk lantai rumah, keluar dari lantai rumah,last straw, mak jv berak kan kat lubang lantai yg kita org kopak tu,mlm tu kita org tidur luar rumah, dgn hujan ribut dam hutan,esok pagi mak bangun pagi nak gi noreh,tgk ada ular sawa tidur sebelah jv,Selamat jv tak kena pukul sebab mak dah nak gi noreh., pas tu tak buat dah keluar rumah semata2 nak tgk kg dulu punya ler kedekutnya, nak tgk tv pun tak bagi, nauzubillah!!

Cukup ler kot celoteh jv kali ni yer, sat lagi ada 2 Columbian girl nak dtg .Dia org nak duduk rumah jv for 2 weeks. jv jadi forster parents sekejap in summer,nak expose anak2 jv dngn budaya luar.kalau dia org bijak, they get to know this girls, if not pandai ler dia org.Stay positif fren, Joyah Vegas.